Emily Tries But Misunderstands

( About Me )


Tell me is something eluding you sunshine?
Is this not what you expected to see?

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Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

I have been getting crafty with Duct Tape until knitting season comes back. So far, so good! Follow the link to Flickr for more duct tape crafts.

I finally got around to watching "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas" and my heart aches. Researching more about it I found the Wiki for the book it was based off of. I am amazed and glad that this was a children's book and that the truth is reaching them on some level.

I realize the story itself is a fabrication but the events that inspired it were true and awful. I don't even have the words to get into all of that but it makes me want to smite the german blood in me. I wish the future could get here faster so we can invent a way back machine and fix things. Until then I will take the steps in fixing things now, starting with myself. I will do everything I can to recognize my privileges, check my -isms and phobias and if I can't educate others who haven't checked theirs then I will put them out of my life until they do.

Why can't we all just get along?

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape. Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

Instead of that bullshit, how about:

If a woman is drunk, don't rape her. If a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her. If a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her. If a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her. If a woman is jogging in a park at 5AM, don't rape her. If a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her. If a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her. If a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her. If a woman is in a coma, don't rape her. If a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her. If a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her. If a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her. If your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her. If your step-daughter is watching TV, don't rape her.

If you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her. If your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend. If your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police. If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and report him as a rapist.

Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, and sons of friends that it's not okay to rape someone.

Don't just tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape. Don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x, y, or z. Don't imply that it's in any way her fault. Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl. Don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can too help yourself. Rape is not about sex, it's about control and power, and what kind of power comes from taking advantage of others? No power anyone should ever desire.

If you agree, repost it. It's important.

(reposted from Gloria, not sure the original source)

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It is almost 5AM and I'm still up playing FarmTown while listening to a radio station inspired by "The Knitters" (indie country, twangy, honky tonk goodness). The first step to recovery is admitting I have a problem right? At least I have good music to discover in the meantime.

marriedtothesea.com

marriedtothesea.com

This is a total vanity post to show off my cute pugs, cute dress, cute hair and cute face.

( You've been warned )

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Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

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Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

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Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

I love these pugs!

Do you all remember my trials and tribulations with the sewing machine? Yeah, well I still haven't figured it out!

Thus tonight's Natalie Dee has sent me into a fit of giggles.


nataliedee.com

ETA, I was specifically having issues with the bobbin on mine:


nataliedee.com

Tori Amos' "Me and a Gun" always makes me so emotional when it comes on. As a survivor of sexual abuse, it makes sense. Damn you winamp shuffle for bringing my heart to my throat tonight.



( Lyrics )

So I've got myself all caught up in the Myers Briggs Personality test. I have gotten a few results from various sites, the strongest being ENFP with a secondary of INFP. Both of these are similar except the E is for extrovert and the I is for Introvert. I can see how I can swing back and forth between them both. I also got ISFP which is similar to the others I mentioned except this one means I am more into Sensing than Intuiting.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Interesting stuff regardless of whether I can find the one that fits me perfectly.

It's our 2nd wedding anniversary. Aw!

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I finished my Nursing Assistant course on Friday and I am so glad it is over! Nursing homes are a little to emotionally draining for me :(

All I have to do now is wait a few weeks for all the coursework paperwork to process and get to me with my CPR card and I can send my information to OSBN and set up a time to take the big OSBN test (written and skilled) for the official certification. Also need $175 for it, boo.

I could barely keep up on LJ this past month and I am sorry if I've missed anything. I am not even going to try and catch up so fill me in if there was anything major you'd like me to know.

The last Something Positive was hilarious. Especially the last panel:



Sean is off for most of the afternoon gaming (and not enjoying it all that much it seems, I think he's really missing his friends back home and rather be gaming with them) so I'm home alone and car-less today. I'm going to go out to the pool. I invite people to come over if you want to keep me company but I can't get to wherever you are! I won't have my phone though because I'll just be out there floating around so find me there!

Later I'm going to grill up some chicken that's marinating with lemon and fresh basil. Mmm!

And look how long my hair is getting!

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This nursing assistant clinical training is putting my life in perspective. Last night I cried for a resident who passed away the night before and I took a long bath and shower appreciating that I could still do it on my own.

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Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

After the Arrrrr Pirate Wedding I took the scenic route home so I could stop and see the various Falls along the Historic Columbia River Highway. It made me feel warm and happy inside :D

It's Pat!

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My birthday party was a great success. Thank you again Kimie and Scott for being such amazing hosts!

There was a wonderful turnout. A little bummed some of my close friends didn't show up but I was super pleased with all the people who did!

There was a yummy spread of food, really good cake and even a few presents, hooray!



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CPR on babies!

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S/he has attachments of different sexual organs even!

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I love that it is grilling season again. Nothing more delicious then a big assed grilled steak and veggies. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Also, pool is open at my complex, yes please! Locals, if ever you need a swim, let me know.

Hello ljland,

I've been MIA all weekend at my first ever pirate event. it's been fun so far. It gets too fucking cold at night though, brrr! Fortunately Sean and the pugs are here curled up with me keeping my lower body warm, though not much help for my nose. Not sleepy yet so I may escape the tent for a while and sit by our neighbors fire.

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I love my little dogs and husband. They make me so happy. They're all especially snuggly in the middle of the night. And they all snore! Awe!

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Tom Robbins in 3 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to keep my main swine flu icon for this post because it is sort of topical!

After a failed attempt at getting registered for CNA classes at the local community college due to missing the memo that I'd have to camp out the night before registration day to assure my spot in line since there's only 18 seats per class, per semester. D'oh! From here I thought I was doomed to having to wait until next Fall to start class and worse, waiting until after that to start looking for work.

Ah, but this was a blessing in disguise! In order for me to keep my unemployment checks coming, I was scheduled for a required "Re-employment Orientation" class at the local Worksource (Oregon's Employment Office?). I was like, grumble, grumble, groan about it, especially because in the morning a few hours before it I was pretty sure I had food poisoning because I was vomiting and sever #2ing. Gross! Anyway! I heard a rumor from someone they got government money to take classes while on unemployment so I figured I'd check with these Worksource people. Halfway through the orientation class about all the great things their office and program has to offer in getting people back to work, they mention TUI. TUI is Training Unemployment Insurance, for those who want to know specifics, check it out here.

I then had to take this no pressure, no one sees but me and the employment office skill tests. On a 7 level test, I scored Level 6ish on Reading and Level 4 on math. Then one of the workers there came over to see how I was doing, said hooray I did well on the test and asked me what I was doing for work before and what I want to look into doing for work now. I told him I did administrative work in the medical field but I want to move up in the field and do CNA work but need the training. He showed me on the training program what common jobs' expect people's levels to be for those jobs and CNA work requires Level 6 reading and Level 3 math. Perfect! He then told me he would send my paperwork over to one of the specialists about getting me started on the CNA path.

I met up with Jonna who worked with the Worksource office via the community college and she told me more detail about the TUI and pointed me in the direction of Cascade Medical School (though Medical School sounds too fancy, it is really Nursing Aide Courses). She also mentioned the best news, they, being the employment office and TUI would pay for it! Yes! As an added bonus, they will also give me a free bus pass for the month. Sweet deal!

So I called and got registered for CNA training :D Orientation and class starts on my birthday, June 8th and ends just before 4th of July and in time for Sean and I to celebrate my getting through the class and our 2nd wedding anniversary. After that my unemployment runs out in August and hopefully I start my new career somewhere as a CNA soon before or after we run out of money.

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Today is hard. My friend's wake is today, right now, and I can't be there.

I'm so sorry Starr.

This should never have happened, not to someone so young, not at all.

Laying in bed with pug snugs just isn't enough right now.

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I just found out another friend of mine from back home passed away this evening, likely of a drug overdose.

She and I stopped being close long ago because of drugs. Just like myself and a lot of my other friends from back home and just like it is with some family members.

Just because we aren't close anymore, doesn't mean it isn't still fucking hard.

Severe sickness and death has happened far too many times due to drugs with people I care about that I'm too afraid to care too much about those who choose to do them. I want to help them see, make them stop but it isn't my choice to make.

Fuck.

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I went to the local community college today and spoke with an adviser. I wasn't sure about whether I'd take the term to become a CNA (citified nurse assistant) or the 3 full term course to become an MA (medical assistant). The MA requires some pre-requisite courses and a harder application process along with letter's of recommendation and so on, which I can do but will take time. He said that the pre-req classes won't be available until next fall so I wouldn't be able to get into the MA course until next spring. So in the meantime my best bet is to take the CNA course over the summer term to have that under my belt and get my foot in the door again in the medical field, which sounds like a good idea.

Meanwhile, I can apply for financial aid for the MA coursework (the CNA course isn't covered by Financial Aid) then come Fall term I can start my pre-reqs for MA and/or start taking courses to become an RN by getting a 2 year nursing associates degree. Nursing is what I ultimately want to do so this sounds promising.

Uhhh, this is all so weird. I never thought I'd go back to school. I was content being mediocre, but the economy isn't leaving many options here in terms of work so why not ride on financial aid while getting certifications and such to land me a better job when America is Fuck Yeah! again.

I still need a scooter to get me to school this summer!

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Am I dreaming? Pinch me!

Monday, May 18
Powell's Books presents…
TOM ROBBINS
Presenting his newest release B IS FOR BEER
Doors at 6 p.m.; event at 7 p.m. | $18 advance and day of event; includes a copy of the book | All ages welcome

http://www.mcmenamins.com/index.php?loc=9&id=1117&eventid=70131

( More details )

I am so there! Who is coming with me???

"There are no angels, there are devils in many ways."

This was fun!

http://whrrl.com/e/exbsg

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Even with a terrible cold I still slaved away at some dishes, cooked up some macaroni with onions and butter then put it all in the oven for baked mac n' cheese and while it baked I prepared some rice krispie treats so they're in the freezer while we eat dinner.



Now I feel like death from working through a fever and sweating like crazy in front of the sink and stove. Arrrgh.

I'm like a super mom, except I'm not a mom.

My mother-in-law gave me a recipe binder to put recipes in and I'm a new cook so I need help filling it!

Post your recipes or link me to your favorites! Appetizers, side dishes, main courses, desserts, whatever.

I'd also love to get some slow cooker recipes.

Thank you!

(I have no food allergies and will try almost anything.)

I started my spring knitting, hooray! First completed project is a Spring Beret (free Ravelry download) which is my first successful lace pattern, yes! I love it!



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I also realize it looks a million times better with the darker hair then it did on the blond:



(I knit the scarf too, a few months back)

Peach is so clever about escaping confinement! She jumps over the baby gate so we double gate it. Then she finds a way to knock over the bottom gate. Then I tie the gates together and she just pushes until she knocks down the top gate. Our little houdini! Poor Rose still remains stuck of course!

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Eggless Cookies
Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

I haven't baked in so long because I didn't have the space. I finally cleaned up the dining room table so I could make cookies, mmm! I didn't have eggs though so I found a recipe for egg free cookies and they turned out gooooood!

http://www.recipezaar.com/Easy-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies-94343

Dear Livejournal,

Poliana, bucket of doughnuts and I are going for a ride.

We wonder if we put a t-shirt on it if the museums will let us take it in with us, it is our love child after all, our delicious, delicious love child.

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polianarchy is in town and we're having a good time. We bought comics, ate Voodoo doughnuts, found 1900mixalot and now we're at Florida room, best thing about Flo Ro:

Fatties in a photobooth!

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