Emily Tries But Misunderstands

( About Me )


Tell me is something eluding you sunshine?
Is this not what you expected to see?

And look how long my hair is getting!

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I love that it is grilling season again. Nothing more delicious then a big assed grilled steak and veggies. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Also, pool is open at my complex, yes please! Locals, if ever you need a swim, let me know.

Hello ljland,

I've been MIA all weekend at my first ever pirate event. it's been fun so far. It gets too fucking cold at night though, brrr! Fortunately Sean and the pugs are here curled up with me keeping my lower body warm, though not much help for my nose. Not sleepy yet so I may escape the tent for a while and sit by our neighbors fire.

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Tom Robbins in 3 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I went to the local community college today and spoke with an adviser. I wasn't sure about whether I'd take the term to become a CNA (citified nurse assistant) or the 3 full term course to become an MA (medical assistant). The MA requires some pre-requisite courses and a harder application process along with letter's of recommendation and so on, which I can do but will take time. He said that the pre-req classes won't be available until next fall so I wouldn't be able to get into the MA course until next spring. So in the meantime my best bet is to take the CNA course over the summer term to have that under my belt and get my foot in the door again in the medical field, which sounds like a good idea.

Meanwhile, I can apply for financial aid for the MA coursework (the CNA course isn't covered by Financial Aid) then come Fall term I can start my pre-reqs for MA and/or start taking courses to become an RN by getting a 2 year nursing associates degree. Nursing is what I ultimately want to do so this sounds promising.

Uhhh, this is all so weird. I never thought I'd go back to school. I was content being mediocre, but the economy isn't leaving many options here in terms of work so why not ride on financial aid while getting certifications and such to land me a better job when America is Fuck Yeah! again.

I still need a scooter to get me to school this summer!

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Am I dreaming? Pinch me!

Monday, May 18
Powell's Books presents…
TOM ROBBINS
Presenting his newest release B IS FOR BEER
Doors at 6 p.m.; event at 7 p.m. | $18 advance and day of event; includes a copy of the book | All ages welcome

http://www.mcmenamins.com/index.php?loc=9&id=1117&eventid=70131

( More details )

I am so there! Who is coming with me???

"There are no angels, there are devils in many ways."

This was fun!

http://whrrl.com/e/exbsg

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My mother-in-law gave me a recipe binder to put recipes in and I'm a new cook so I need help filling it!

Post your recipes or link me to your favorites! Appetizers, side dishes, main courses, desserts, whatever.

I'd also love to get some slow cooker recipes.

Thank you!

(I have no food allergies and will try almost anything.)

I started my spring knitting, hooray! First completed project is a Spring Beret (free Ravelry download) which is my first successful lace pattern, yes! I love it!



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I also realize it looks a million times better with the darker hair then it did on the blond:



(I knit the scarf too, a few months back)

Peach is so clever about escaping confinement! She jumps over the baby gate so we double gate it. Then she finds a way to knock over the bottom gate. Then I tie the gates together and she just pushes until she knocks down the top gate. Our little houdini! Poor Rose still remains stuck of course!

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Eggless Cookies
Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

I haven't baked in so long because I didn't have the space. I finally cleaned up the dining room table so I could make cookies, mmm! I didn't have eggs though so I found a recipe for egg free cookies and they turned out gooooood!

http://www.recipezaar.com/Easy-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies-94343

Dear Livejournal,

Poliana, bucket of doughnuts and I are going for a ride.

We wonder if we put a t-shirt on it if the museums will let us take it in with us, it is our love child after all, our delicious, delicious love child.

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polianarchy is in town and we're having a good time. We bought comics, ate Voodoo doughnuts, found 1900mixalot and now we're at Florida room, best thing about Flo Ro:

Fatties in a photobooth!

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Last night at hot tubbing, my friends and I were talking about how now is the perfect time to go back to school since I'm not tied to a job currently.

I was thinking for theshort term, I could take a year class to become a Certified Nursing Assistant, that way I will have a better chance of getting my foot in the door of medical care (again).

All the researching for where to go and how to apply for loans and classes is very overwhelming though and I don't even know where to begin.

I'm also getting older and not much wiser so I'm worried I won't be able to cut it in terms of actually doing the work and the tests, uggh, I was never good at taking tests.

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I just purchased a dual membership to the Portland Art Museum so if any of you locals ever want to go for free, let me know!

Speaking of art, I just ordered original Mister Reusch art, yay!

I got the original Gemini painting from a calendar he did a few years ago:



Description:

In 2003 I was hired by Llewellyn Worldwide to create 13 12" x 12" full-color paintings and 37 small black and white illustrations for a 2004 horoscope calendar aimed at teenage girls. Llewellyn's concept was "Alternagyrl", a quirky long-haired brunette who did something new and fun in every painting. She had to be wearing a long-sleeve blouse, skirt, opaque tights, and clunky shoes in each image, but the colors of her blouse and tights would change according to each sign of the Zodiac. I came up with the idea of giving her a funny black Pug to interact with in each painting.

This is the painting for Gemini, (June) showing Alternagyrl giving the "okay" sign to her reflection while her pug chases a Malay Lacewing butterfly. As with all these other Zodiac paintings, I had to do a ton of reading and research to include appropriate colors, animals, flowers, etc. for each sign. That's why there's Lily-of-the-Valley growing in the foreground, and a parakeet flying past.

This painting is 12" x 12", acrylic, ink, and gouache on 2-ply Bristol.

More calendar art: Cover|Aquarius|Pisces|Aries|Taurus|Leo|Sagitarius

I also got a print of The Four Seasons



Here's a link to his etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5532890

For those in the know, my iMob code is 147 622 121

Holy crap, awesome!

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This is my last mobile post from my blackjack, my next mobile post will be from the iphone I got myself for v-day!

I also just finished my v-day hat so I can dress up pretty and snuggly warm this weekend!

Last night Sean and I had date night, it was nice. We had dinner and then saw Coraline in 3D. Afterward we went home and made waffle sundaes and watched some of our DVR'd shows from Sunday.

I'm just glad he and I can still have date nights because it is really important to have some us time now and again.

Tonight I'm ordering a refurbished iPhone, I'm sure it will be just fine, yay :D

http://www.asofterworld.com/

I just got home an hour ago from an excellent night out with some girl friends. We all got together for some ladies' night naked hot tubbing at a wellness center. It was super relaxing! Afterward we went out and got desserts at a quaint coffee/dessert place. It felt super good to just be able to comfortably chat it up about anything and everything with some of my favorite people here in Portland.

Speaking of Portland, I love, love, love it here! Thank you so much Ashley for helping me get here. This is the best city ever and I'm so at home here! I could gush more about it being a great city with fresh air, green scenery, excellent things to do all the time and how I am discovering so much about myself here but I'm just too tired right now :P

I've been knitting a bit before crawling into bed with Sean. I've also been listening to X while knitting and it is excellent for upbeat and speed knitting. It also made me realize the lack of good punk on my computer. And I need more! viva_hater, akmed and jenionfire, do you guys have suggestions for good punk? I like stuff like X and Dead Kennedys and The Business, I suppose more Old School stuff. Thanks!

I haven't had a knitting and pug photo dump post in a while, so have one now!

I just finished this last night, it is awesome. Now I will have a knit heart for my desk at work since the kidney and pancreas don't apply anymore :( :( :(





( More knittings and pugs! )

I don't want to look too far back into the past, I want to live in the now and hereafter, so no year end wrap up post from me.

Lush is having a huge holiday sale and trying to clear out all the christmas limited editions so I stocked up. They had holiday gift sets buy one, get one free so of course I had to go all out and get the biggest one x2 which included all of the holiday items. I also got some new facial care stuff because I had run out and my face was so angry at me and breaking out so it is good to be back on my normal regime: wash with Angels On Bare Skin, tone with Breath of Fresh Air and moisturize with Celestial. Mmm, my face is so happy and soft now. So with all my loot, I have been taking 2-3 hour baths every day and feeling real swell in general.

I also started the new year off with a dental cleaning, hooray! I got reprimanded for not flossing, shame, shame on me. I don't know why flossing is so hard to remember to do, but I could never get in the habit. Other than that, my chompers are doing well and still in my mouth, and that is what matters most.

Sad that my long weekend is over and I'm back at work because I have a lot of fun things coming up and knowing I have fun things to do it makes the work day seem to take forever!

Tuesday I have a hot tub date with a friend from Love Tribe, Wednesday I am going to a "munch" for an all women's group I am hoping to get more involved with, Friday is the 2 year anniversary of Dirty Queer and afterward I've got a friend date to go a benefit for Bitch magazine where Kimya Dawson and Mirah are playing and then Saturday I have a brunch date with Ashley where I'll be giving her a pearl necklace if you know what I mean, and then I've got a date to go to the zoo with a couple I met on NYE which is leaving me giddy with anticipation!

And Sunday I think I will rest. Ah, rest.

What is yours?

our power is out and I am hungry :( we cant go out for food because our car is in the garage which runs on electricity to open and we dont have a key to do it manually. lamers. send help and cookies please!

ETA: Midnight - all is well. Food, get in my belly!

That pile of snow is a car. wow!

It is like New England snowing out there, whoaaaah! It is the end of days here in PDX, uh oh!!!!! So yesterday we went to Costco and stocked up. I also got a some head... er head forms to show off my knitting! A+ for looking professional now!

Check it out!










Awesome.

I am hungry, time to go eat!

I always forget how awesome X is until it shuffles randomly into my music player.




I am a black and white ghost
in a black and invisible dress
oh what a mess I'm in
what kind of fool am I?

I am the married kind
the kind that said I do
forever searching for someone new

at night I get drunk and fly around
in the day I dream and lay around
I drink and smoke your brand and drink
I am drunk over you

I am the married kind
the kind that said I do
forever searching for someone new

I am the ghost of all my dreams
to me it's all pretend
I pretend I'm alive or just not dead
I will die for you

I am the married kind
the kind that said I do
forever searching for someone new

my nights are numbered
they don't count for nothing
I'm not a fool, I'm just a bride
and I'm just no good inside

I am the married kind
the kind that said I do
forever searching for someone new

First of all, I had to cut down on my friends list. Those cut, I am sorry. I just don't have a lot of time lately with the new job responsibilities and my holiday power knitting so I had to pare my list down to people I know IRL or have a rooted connection to.

Speaking of being busy, I apologize some more to those still on my list for not commenting in forever! As I mentioned above, I have been busy with work and gift making that I don't even have time to read the ljs on a daily basis. I catch up every other day with a read through and no commenting. But I am still reading!

I don't have much else to report except I've got a shit ton of knitting done and I went to a party on Friday. At that party I was wearing a hat and shawl I knit just for the occasion. Sean and I were super cute together.


"I've been waiting since birth to find a love that would look and sound like a movie"

thanks bellybalt for the photo


Uh, that's all I've got. Back to knitting, then bed.

hackphoto
Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

Have I ever shown off my old *hack license photos? Intense. I look like a serial killer.

*Cab driver license.

I want to tell you a story about the last time I was in Portland.
The night before we played at the Long Goodbye.
I was walking on the street about 10:30 at night.
A lot of people go to bed around here at 10:30 at night.
And well, I was walking along when suddenly these jocks in this
bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights, tractor tires,
everything but the CB. It was a life-size Hot Wheels car for some dumb rich kid,
right. Well, they drove up to me
and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually yell, "Hey, faggot,"
and showered me with some water.
So, I stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads and picked up a rock.
Now, I waited, walked down about a block to
where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is, on Burnside,
and sure enough they drove around again.
They said, "Hey, faggot, where's the nearest McDonald's?" I said,
"I don't know" and they squirted me again.
So I threw the rock and put a nice-size dent in their giant Hot Wheels car.
They screeched to a halt in the parking lot of some department store,
who's name I don't remember, it's up the street from Fred Meyer,
and they got out their clubs and they ran after me, yelling,
"We're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot, we're gonna kill you,
you motherfucker."
So I got in a phone booth by the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside,
held my legs straight out like this so they couldn't open the door
to the phone booth. So they began charging the phone booth,
beating on it with their club, yelling,
"We're gonna kill you, you motherfucker, we're gonna kill you,
you god damn faggot." I just looked at them.
So, there was a crowd gathering by this time
and these kids were standing nearby and they said,
"Oh, look at him, he's insane." I thought, ah-hah, here's my way out.
I yelled at them, "Take me to a mental hospital right away.
I wanna be be put away.
Please put me away, c'mon, call the cops and put me away.
Please put me away now."
They said, "Alright, faggot, we're calling the police." So they called the police.
The cop comes out and I go, ah, my savior, I'm away from these jocks.
He opens up the door, "Get out of there, you,"
throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in the back.
Then he goes over to the jocks, "Now what happened here?
It looks like we're going have to take him to jail
but we got to have the full story first"
So the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the hole
Take down on the bass, a little bit down on the bass. Yeah,
ace in the hole, and they go, "Well, goddammit,
the motherfucker put a dent in my truck, a $5000 truck, right,
so I got my club, I went out and I wanted to kill him.
I want to kill him. Let me kill him, goddammit.
Let me kill him."
So the cop made them go home, and he drove me home,
and he confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence.
And I thought, so this is Oregon, huh? Tolerant Oregon?

-Dead Kennedys-

I treated myself to a new knitting book yesterday. The designer is local and the designs are marvelous and beautiful with a textured vintage feel to them. And they are relatively simple to do. I admit the cover is what sold me right away. I love 1920's styled hats and the book has 2 of them. So pretty! I have already started on one of them using a fuzzy pink yarn. So many patterns, so little time!

I am having a big old case of the nostalgias today.

I'm fraudulent, a thief at best
A coward who paints a bullshit canvas
Things that will never happen to me
And at arm's length, it's Tim who said
I'm good at it, I've mastered it
Avoiding, avoiding everything

But you are what you love, Tim
Not what loves you back
And I'm in love with illusions, so saw me in half
I'm in love with tricks
So pull another rabbit out of your hat

Due to a mix of congrats for getting a job and christmas coming early, a Lappy was born. I've never had a laptop before so this is exciting!




Frome a review of it:

Putting a new twist on a tried and true favorite, this special-edition Toshiba Satellite laptop sports a sleek new swirl on its cover. Beneath its funky surface, the Satellite laptop boasts a 15.4-inch display delivering TruBrite technology and 1,280-by-800-pixel resolution. Running the show, the laptop features enhanced Intel Centrino processor technology with the Core 2 Duo mobile processor T5750, Intel GM965 chipset and Wireless Wi-Fi Link 4965AGN network connection (802.11a/b/g/n). It comes equipped with 4GB DDR2 SDRAM and 320GB SATA HDD. When you’re work is done, it’s time to play, so this Satellite model offers Intel Graphics Media Accelerator X3100 with up to 358MB dedicated shared graphics memory; an FM module for radio listening; built-in Harman/Kardon speakers; and S-video output. An integrated double-layer multi-format DVD±RW/CD-RW and built-in webcam and microphone are a nice added bonus. All this, and more, comes packed in this compact, 6-pound, 1.5-inch thin frame. The special-edition Satellite laptop is available at a retail price of $950 at Best Buy.

Also, haha, from another review: "It even comes etched with a rainbow swirl design, making this look more for the working woman than a suited man."

Yay yay! Best of all, we got it for only $500.

( Isn't she lovely? )

ETA: Lappy's special grand appearance at Ashley's Trailer Trash Birthday Party playing Trailer Park Boys the movie and me looking Trailer Trash Chic!

IMG_5829
Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

Do a little dance!

I love having my own desk again so I can decorate!

Ps. Donate a kidney, you only need one!

Ok

ETA: Pattern!


It is nearly impossible to find a good pattern for a knit vagina and I see lots of people in different craft communities asking for one. I was curious myself so I decided to just wing it without a pattern and now I have a knitted pocket vulva for my very own! I even used a glow in the dark yarn for the clit so she's always easy to find!

Here's a work safe side view





( the not so safe for work though it isn't *actually* a vagina so you should see anyway pictures )

I would just like to take a minute and talk about how awful my life is.

On Friday afternoon a department wide email went out at work alerting everyone that I am joining the team officially and to welcome me.

Friday evening I was curled up on the couch watching Six Feet Under and knitting while getting pug snuggles.

Saturday I slept in. Saturday evening I went to Vancouver and attended TWO parties. I've become quite popular, it seems. These parties will get a more detailed post under a filter tomorrow when my thoughts are back together again, but let's just say everyone really liked me, gosh darn it.

So far today I had brunch with 1900mixalot, bluebelleknoll and a special appearance by stephanieanne. Delicious. Full of country fried steak and eggs then a No Name Doughnut from Voodoo. I then came home and rocked out with Sean on Guitar Hero: World Tour because we're too cool to learn real instruments. Though I was singing so I guess I was technically playing a real instrument.

Right now I am fresh out of a relaxing Lush bubble bath and I'm about to go have a late dinner then knit this until I fall asleep.

MY LIFE IS SO HARD.

I've been knitting more and more and more! I even created my own non pattern dreamwoven inspired just knit as I go kind of hat so it is all artsy-ish. I think I will try to use a stiffer yarn if I try to re-create it again so it will stand up better. Here is a brief summary of the projects I've finished this pas week, starting with the artsy one:



Chunky red cable beret and neckwarmer (my own design!)



Golden Compass Hood



Mini Golden Compass Hood



And a chunky newsboy cap




Folow the link to Flickr for more pictures.

At Muddy Waters
2908 SE Belmont St
Portland, OR 97214


Locals, if you are interested, I will bring a bunch of my knitting and crochet books full of great patterns for you to look at and get inspired.

My "regulars" won't be making it tonight so if you think you are interested, please let me know, otherwise I may skip it this week too.


Halloween goodness

Oh, and I finished my "Rose Tyler Scarf" for my Halloween Costume and tried it all out. Success!



( More pictures and a pattern )

IMG_5705
Originally uploaded by emilytbm.

Went to a zombie party. I was a corporate zombie. Brains!

( Nom nom nom )